I just found this post I wrote during a layover, and wanted to share it even though almost two months (how is that possible?!) have passed since our wedding. I’m so glad I typed all of this out because it truly captures my post-wedding feelings! Here it is…
Hi my loves! I am writing this from Tahiti Intl Airport. We are waiting for our connecting flight to Le Taha’a where we will spend the next 8 days…on our honeymoon! We are still flying high from our wedding weekend. While it doesn’t quite feel real yet, Jordan and I are in agreement that all the planning, loooong nights, sweat, tears (lots on my behalf), and money we put into last weekend were one million percent worth it. We can’t believe it’s already behind us. I wanted to jot down a few notes to share while it’s still fresh in my mind.
I don’t want the tone of this post to come off negative because trust me, the overarching theme of our wedding weekend was utter bliss! At the same time, I want to list some of the things that went “wrong” on our wedding day in case other couples can learn from them. They are such minor details in the grand scheme, so I want to share them before I forget. I am going to film a video (it’s already up on my YouTube channel in my wedding series!) going over lots of details too. I miss filming for YouTube and connecting with you all on that platform so much, I can’t wait to get back to it. I still have so much to share!
Best Case- Extend Your Timeline, Worst Case- Prioritize!
Firstly, I have to say everything everyone says is SO TRUE. Jordan and I felt such a flood of emotions on our wedding day. We were in a complete daze on cloud nine, while simultaneously trying our best to stay present and in the moment. Regardless, the day flew by at warp speed. That feeling is expected, but in our case it was exacerbated by the time constraints of our venue. In hindsight, I would strongly suggest not squeezing the pre-ceremony shuffle (we should have realized our guests would meander through the gardens on their way to the ceremony site, the grounds were gorgeous!) ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception in less than 5 hours like we did. Thankfully we had the wherewithal to plan a first look, otherwise our timeline regrets would have doubled.
We were able to fit in every single element we wanted to but we. were. hustling. We finally cut the cake and Jordan and I immediately got pulled in opposite directions. After being separated for a long time, he appeared in front of me shouting, “We have 20 minutes before this is all over. Is there anything you will regret not doing at your wedding?!” and without skipping a beat I said, “DANCE!” I hadn’t been on the dance floor once! If you know me, you know that is so not my style. He whisked me to the middle of the dace floor where we spent the next 20 minutes surrounded by our loved ones. Literally, see below! We always planned to do the hora, but actually being thrown on chairs and hoisted into the air was both thrilling and terrifying! Perfect strangers from all different walks of our life were dancing hand in hand and laughing together like old pals. The energy under that pavilion was electric in those final few moments, and they are among my very favorite of the entire day.
Dress Fittings Are So Important- Be Thorough!
Secondly, I cannot stress enough how important it is to make sure your wedding day attire is perfect. This doesn’t mean splurge on your dream dress. I mean whatever your budget or timeframe, do not “say yes to the dress” until you sit, stand, dance, jump, cartwheel (just me?) and wear your dress longer than 3 minutes at the tailor. Imagine walking down the aisle to your dream man, at your dream venue, bawling through the most heartfelt ceremony, and at the pinnacle of it all, when you finally embrace your husband for your first kiss as a married couple…your boob pops out. I don’t need to imagine it, because that’s exactly what happened. Thankfully with the way we were angled I’m pretty sure no one in the audience got a full peep show, but I was horrified walking back down the aisle not knowing.
This is Dimitra from the future again. That is false. Several of my friend’s ended up with a few R rated iPhone photos. Whoops! Clearly I felt very strongly about this in the immediate aftermath- oh the drama! I promise I’m laughing about it now.
I took my dress back to the tailor twice for this issue and in the end my worst fears came true anyway! I should have insisted she take it in again or brainstormed with her to find a better solution, but I didn’t want to be pushy or rude when she’d already put so much work into my dress, and I completely regret it. At the end of the day it’s your comfort level on a pretty important day on the line, and it shouldn’t even be a question if you might flash your guests or not. Obviously. So take it home, try it on, find the right undergarments, frolic, and make sure there aren’t any little issues that might become worse as the night goes. Put your comfort first!
Make a Wedding Day Timeline + Checklist
I researched timeline after timeline for months leading up to the wedding, trying to craft the most perfect and foolproof timeline for our wedding party, vendors, and parents. I found tons of great examples to model off of and our photographer ultimately became a deciding factor on most of it, which was great. However, one thing I regret not spending enough time on was a checklist detailing what to bring. If I could do it differently, I would take 20 minutes after the rehearsal to make a master “prop list” so to speak, that included everything that needed to be accounted for and who was in charge of transporting each item.
On our way over to our first look, our coordinator casually asked me who had the stefanas. I had no idea…turns out they never made it to the venue! The stefana is a Greek flower crown that played an instrumental role in our ceremony. My stepdad and brother-in-law raced back to the hotel and got them in time thankfully, but a checklist would have saved us from those 20 minutes of panic. This list might be tedious and painstaking to make, because no two ceremonies will be identical, but it will expedite the process and be so worth it! Thank goodness our coordinator had one of her own and solved the problem before it truly became one.
Spring for a Coordinator
This brings me to my next point, which is a common one but for good reason. For the love of all that is good in this world, get yourself a day of coordinator! I know they can be expensive, but explore your options early and find a way to fill the role without blowing your budget. Our venue gave us the option to hire a day of coordinator for $700, an assistant for an additional $150, and last minute upon realizing just how much decor we were bringing, we sprung for a “design assistant” for another $100. Linda, Megan, and Christy worked incredibly hard, and helped us pull off the event without a hitch! I was nervous to give up control after spending a year and a half carefully choreographing each and every detail. Then I’m expected to go radio silent in the eleventh hour? How will they know the orange leaves clearly go with the escort cards and the rosemary is for the pocket fold napkins on top of the menus?! Wedding planning…it’ll do a number on your mental state, let me tell you. Cut to our wedding day and I didn’t even see most of the details I fretted over, let alone care how the heck they got there. Any hiccups that did occur were all on me, and I know the list of “uh-oh” moments would have been at least double had those lovely ladies not been there for us! We are so grateful we had them on our team.
Set expectations & communicate with loved ones ahead of time
The last thing I could have improved on is communication. I spent hours (seriously, hoursss) on our timelines, making sure I knew who and what would be where and when. Which is all well and good, but I failed to properly communicate this early enough for those involved to plan around it. I also didn’t give family members a heads up about what would happen when I wasn’t with them. For example, there was down time for many folks while Jordan and I had our first look and took couple photos where everyone wasn’t sure what they were supposed to be doing, if anything. I glossed over the details that in my mind were a given, but you really can’t assume anything is implied if you don’t express it.
All our friends and family were amazing and so helpful all weekend, trying their best to fulfill our dream day, but I could have made it easier on them by setting expectations early. Maybe this is a given for most, but it fell through the cracks for me and I regret not doing it, so I wanted to share. Send out emails or texts that clearly lay out instructions that pertain to individuals ahead of time. They will thank you even if it seems like micromanaging (that was my fear), and you will appreciate them not running to you last minute when you’re already being pulled in so many directions.
In the end, even with these little things going haywire, the day was perfect. I got to marry my best friend surrounded by all of our loved ones, and the outpouring of warmth and endearment we felt all weekend is indescribable. I’m tearing up just thinking about all the effort, time, and energy everyone exerted just to share this day with us. We are so lucky to have such a wonderful support system around us that we will continue to build and nurture as husband and wife. We are going to continue to bask in it on an island over tropical drinks! Off we go! xx
Thank you Rachel Stelter for our stunning wedding photos. I have LOTS more pictures to share, so stay tuned for that! 🙂
Florist: Milieu Florals | Venue: Descanso Gardens | Catering: Patina Group | Dress #1: Watters | Outfit #2, Skirt: Mila Bridal, Bodysuit: Express | Shoes: Jimmy Choo | Hair: Marc Mapile | Makeup: Kelly Tran Artistry | Groom’s Suit: Suit Supply | Rentals: Signature Party Rentals | Lawn Game Rental: Joymode | Gold “The Weisses” Sign: One Love Metals |
